Home > Steven Wright

Wright is known for his slow, deadpan, monotone delivery of ironic, witty and sometimes confusing jokes and one liners,

Wright released a comedy album in 1985 entitled I Have a Pony.

In 1992, Wright had a recurring role on the television sitcom Mad About You.

Won an Academy Award for his short film, The Appointments of Dennis JenningsThis short film, directed by Dean Parisot and written by and starring Steven Wright, won the 1988 Academy Award for Live Action Short Film..

There are numerous lists of jokes attraibuted to Wright circulating on the internetThis article is about the Internet the extensive, worldwide computer network available to the public. An internet is a more general term for a set of interconnected computer networks that are connected by internetworking''. WWW information network structu, sometimes of dubious provenance. Wright has stated that "someone showed me a site, and half of it that said I wrote it, I didn't write. Recently, I saw one, and I didn't write any of it. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, I'm embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad." [1]

1 Jokes attributed to Wright

• "I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."
• "When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?"
• "What's another word for thesaurus?"
• "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
• "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
• "I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night."
• "I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
• "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
• "If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."
• "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
• "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
• "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work."
• "Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, you have to 'put your two cents in?' Somebody's making a penny."
• "I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there."
• "I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, 'Hey, maybe I wrote that.'"
• "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
• "I once locked my keys out of my car. I had break out of my car with a coat hanger."
• "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot."
• "We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child, eventually."

1.1 Selected filmography

• Reservoir DogsMovie Facts Reservoir Dogs is Quentin Tarantino's 1992 debut as a feature film director. It co-stars Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn, Steve Buscemi, and Lawrence Tierney. Tarantino also has a minor role. The screenplay, written by Tara, (1992) (voice only) as "K-Billy DJ"
• So I Married an Axe MurdererSo I Married an Axe Murderer is a 1993 film starring Mike Myers and Nancy Travis. Myers plays a poet who is unable to commit to marriage. Nancy's character is one of a string of women that Myers finds outlandish reasons to drop. Is she trying to kill him?, (1993) as "Pilot"
• Natural Born KillersNatural Born Killers is a 1994 motion picture directed by Oliver Stone and starring Juliette Lewis and Woody Harrelson. Rodney Dangerfield, Robert Downey Jr. Tom Sizemore and Tommy Lee Jones are also featured. The screenplay is based on a script by Quenti, (1994) as "Dr. Emil Reingold"
• Canadian Bacon, (1995) as Canadian Mounted Police Officer
• Coffee and CigarettesCoffee and Cigarettes is a 2003 black and white independent film directed by Jim Jarmusch. The main casts are Roberto Benigni, Steven Wright, Joie Lee, Cinque Lee and Steve Buscemi. The film consists of short stories in which all of them have coffee and c (2003) as "Steven"