5 Comic Book Guy

Comic Book Guy is the proprietor of "The Android's Dungeon," a local comic book shop. Voiced by Hank AzariaHank Albert Azaria (born April 25, 1964) is an American actor who is best known for providing the voices of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Police Chief Clancy Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Cletus and Professor Frink on the animated television show The Sim, the fat, hirsute, surly Comic Book Guy is known for his sarcastic quips to customers. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology.

A noted science fiction buff, he has a bumper sticker that reads "MY OTHER CAR IS A MILLENNIUM FALCON," given to him by a Harrison Ford-lookalike. His license plate is NCC-1701, the serial number of Star Trek's USS Enterprise. The contents of his display case include, among other oddities, a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. He wears prescription pants, and in the 14th Halloween episode revealed he had a " Jabba the butt" tattoo in the appropriate place. He also owns a T-shirt that says " C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN ". He is a fan of the comic strip Hi & Lois. His store contains a section full of illegal videos (which include Mr. Rogers drunk, a top secret American nuclear war strategy, and local news reporter Kent Brockman picking his nose). He was a virgin well into his forties. At one time he was romantically involved with Principal Skinner's mother Agnes; later, he dated Skinner's fiancee, Edna Krabappel. Comic Book Guy was once married, in an online fantasy game. He and his internet wife were thinking of having children, but that would have drained his power crystals.

His catchphrase is the declaration "Worst. _____. ever." which is usually delivered with slight pauses between each word, and an emphasis on the "ever." He can be seen as a criticism of fandom, including The Simpsons own fandom. He has also been said to be a caricature, in voice and look, of cult cartoon director Ralph Bakshi. Matt Groening once stated in an interview that his name is Louis Lane, although this has never been mentioned in the show itself. Several characters have actually referred to him by name as "Comic Book Guy."

I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them!

I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud connection to a 1.4 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?

Once again, my buttocks are caught in a cow-catcher... - Comic Book Guy

6 Crazy Jewish Guy

The Crazy Jewish Guy is a resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle. He is often seen with Grandpa Simpson and Jasper. He often yells at people and is sometimes seen owning a store.

Where are you going at this hour? Hey, you'll scratch off them heads!

7 Disco Stu

Disco Stu is a disco afficionado. He is usually featured wearing a rhinestone -encrusted jumpsuit. He often refers to himself in the third person (putting a big emphasis on "Stu" and then pausing before saying anything else) and is noted for being mentally stuck in the Disco Era.

He first appeared during a Springfield-wide yard-sale day. Homer was reminiscing about his "disco stud" sequined jacket from the 1970s, that only read "Disco Stu" since he ran out of room on the back of the jacket. Marge told Homer that the jacket wouldn't sell. Someone exclaims, "hey, Stu, you should buy that" to which he replies, "Disco Stu doesn't advertise!" He doesn't buy the jacket. In another episode he says "Disco Stu got hooked on the white stuff in the seventies," and gets a bag of sugar.

Disco Stu has also been seen with dead goldfish in his platform shoes, hitting on Marge Simpson at a ski lodge (until he finds out she has children), telling his troubles to a taxi driver with a hidden camera, dancing with Homer after Homer discovers his love of walking, and, most recently, a regular on Homer's talk show. During the "taxi cab confession", Disco Stu revealed that he's actually really worried that he's let Disco define him as a person.

Disco Stu has also been parodied as a "Discus Stu" in an "Odyssey" parody, which takes place in Ancient Greece (he is a suitor to Odysseus' wife, Penelope). We later find out Discus Stu has enough Ouzo for Two-zo. (Stu and Bart.) He calls himself "Disco Shrew" in Treehouse of Horror XIII, in the segment where Dr. Hibbert goes mad and turns everybody into animals (Stu has, obviously, been turned into a rodent-like creature).

"Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue... AAY!"

8 Dr. Julius Hibbert

Dr. Julius Hibbert is the Simpson family physician. Voiced by Harry Shearer, he is a kind-hearted family doctor, a genius and Mensa member, and is one of the few regular African-American characters on the series. Hibbert is noticeably less dysfunctional than just about everyone else on the show, though he does have a bizarre tendency to laugh at inappropriate moments. He also gives stupid yet effective solutions to certain medical problems. For example, when Maggie saved Homer from drowning, he replied to Marge's question "How can a baby save the life of a full-grown man?", "It's very simple. When an adult's life is in danger, a child can summon superhuman strength!" Or when Homer lost a thumb, Dr. Hibbert tells him that his Finger Insurance will not cover reattatchment (as a thumb is not a finger) and suggests he can remove the other thumb for symmetry.

He is often seen in flashbacks (eg Lisa's birth, Bart's accidents as a toddler), and each time has a different hairstyle (afro, Bob Marley-ish, Mr. T, etc), as appropriate for the time period. He is married; he and his wife Bernice have three children. When his entire family is seen together, they appear to be a spoof of The Cosby Show.

Dr. Hibbert was intended as a female character based on comedian and former Saturday Night Live castmember Julia Hibbert, better known as Julia Sweeney. When the Fox network moved "The Simpsons" to Thursdays opposite NBC's top-rated " The Cosby Show", the show's producers completely redesigned Dr. Hibbert as a parody of Cosby's character Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Another possible influence in the creation of the character is basketball player Julius Erving, who was nicknamed Doctor J.

Dr. Julius Hibbert has three children, 2 boys and a girl, with the older son being a teenager (a parody of Cliff Huxtable's son on Cosby Show).

It's implied that he and Bleeding Gums Murphy are long-lost brothers. Also, he bears a striking resemblance to the director of the Shelbyville orphanage, which may or may not be coincidence (especially considering that the latter mentions a personal quest to find his long-lost twin).

9 Dr. Marvin Monroe

Dr. Marvin Monroe is a goofy, strangled-voiced local psychiatrist, once Mr. Burns' therapist. Monroe also promoted series of subliminal weight-losing audio cassettes. He apparently died between the sixth and seventh seasons, and the Springfield hospital has been named in his honor. Monroe was voiced by Harry Shearer, who reportedly wanted Dr. Monroe removed from the show because doing the character's voice hurt his larynx. Dr. Monroe did make a later appearance in the episode "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife," claiming that he has been "very sick".

10 Dr. Nick Riviera

Dr. Nick Riviera (voiced by Hank Azaria) is a quack physician. Riviera has a vaguely Eastern European accent, a medical degree from a community college (at which he apparently spent much of his time prescribing "anything I want" to a succession of attractive women back in the 1970s), and a great deal of luck. Dr. Riviera also studied at the Hollywood Upstairs School of Medicine.

He frequently appears on infomercials pitching all sorts of bizarre medical offers and turns his operations into TV spectacles. He is also shown as an inventor/huckster (in the style of Ron Popeil) on the television show "I Can't Believe They Invented It!"

Dr. Nick is notable for his exclamation upon entering a room of "Hi, everybody!" which is followed by a response of "Hi, Dr. Nick!" from the other characters. There was an Austrian version of "Dr". Riviera in of the episodes, and his exclamation is "Gotentag, everybody!"

He has operated on the Simpson family a couple of times, notably when Homer Simpson could not afford a heart bypass from his regular doctor. Lisa Simpson attended the live audience for the operation and saved the day by guiding the obviously clueless Dr. Riviera through the operation.

Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The 'B' is for 'bargain'!

This won't hurt a bit, until I jam this down your throat!

The coroner? I am so sick of that guy!

Inflammable means flammable?? What a country!

When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?

Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything!

(Said upon seeing Jaspar frozen in a Quik-E-Mart freezer)

"Hi, frozen body!"

(Said while staring at an anesthetized patient's torso, just before the patient slips into unconsciousness):

What the hell is that?

(Singing, during surgery):

The knee bone's connected to the - something
The something's connected to the - red thing
The red thing's connected to my - wristwatch... Uh oh.

11 Drederick Tatum

Drederick Tatum is a professional boxer. He has appeared in several episodes, most notably when Homer becomes a boxer. Tatum is a parody of Mike Tyson; he has a similar criminal record and lisp. Tatum's manager is a Don King lookalike named Lucius Sweet.

12 Duffman

Duffman is the mascot and spokesman for the Duff Beer company. He is an athletic and smooth-talking corporate personality who wears blue and red tights, a red cape, white gloves, and the name "Duff" emblazoned across his chest. The ensemble features a red hat, dark sunglasses, and a belt of beer cans around his waist.

Though he is the corporate tool of Duff Beer, in one episode he was torn between the company he loved and the truth of the local team, the Isotopes, about how they were going to be moved to Albuquerque. In the tange, Duffman followed the slogan What would Jesus do and sided with Homer.

It was revealed that he is Jewish in the episode where Homer and Marge attend Oktoberfest. Ironically, he exclaims "This Reich will last a thousand beers!"

Duffman is generally known for his methodically slow speech, complete with dramatic pauses and ending with a suggestive " Oh, yeah!" He also refers to himself in the third person.

In his own words: "Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him." His real names have been said to be Sid, Larry, Barry, and Joel.

13 Fat Tony

Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (voiced by Joe Mantegna) is the local Mafia Don. His real name was said to be William Williams in an episode where Bart was working part time for the Mafia at the "Legitimate Businessman's Club". In another episode, Frankie "The Squealer" reveals Fat Tony's real name to be Miriam. Fat Tony is a pastiche of characters from endless Mafia movie and TV dramas. His fellow mobsters include Joey, Legs, and Louie.

The Simpson family has come into contact with him on several occasions. In a thinly disguised parody of Goodfellas, Bart gets a job serving drinks in the Mafia's local bar (complete with card table with every chair facing the wall). On another occasion, Homer gets mistaken for Krusty the Klown, who owes Fat Tony gambling debts.

Police Chief Wiggum: You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on Route 401?

Fat Tony: What's a truck?

Police Chief Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me...

--

Fat Tony: You have 24 hours to give us the monies, and to show you we're serious, you have 12 hours.

14 Gil

Gil (Voiced by Dan Castellaneta) is a perpetual loser, a nervous, middle-aged man with the inability to hold a steady job, due to strings of misfortunes that tend to hit him at the worst times. He has been seen holding any number of small menial jobs, including used car salesman, doorbell salesman, real estate salesman, Coleco computer salesman, and newspaper subscription salesman. Since the departure of Lionel Hutz from the series, Gil has been used as a cheap replacement lawyer in court scenes.

The character is based on Jack Lemmon's portrayal of salesman Shelley "The Machine" Levene in the 1992 movie adaptation of David Mamet's Pulitzer prize-winning play Glengarry Glen Ross.

That's it. Drool all you want. You can't hurt that paint job. Now rain water, that'll take right off. Oh man! Why didn't I close the deal?

Homer: Now I'm not a man of words.
(Reallllly long silence)
Gil: You gotta say something! She's looking at twenty years! And my legal license expires in 15 minutes!

15 Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman is a 4'5" mole-like man with extremely bad luck. Although apparently elderly, he claims to be only in his mid-thirties. He has cataracts and is partially blind, cannot read, and uses medical marijuana. He is secretly the leader of an underground civilization of "Molepeople".

Hans drives a 1977 AMC Gremlin, and carries a brown cane with him everywhere. He has a slight crush on either Patty or Selma. He runs an early morning radio show, on which he introduces himself as "This is Moleman in the Morning, Good Moleman to you".

When Homer hired cult deprogrammers to return Bart to him, they kidnapped Hans by mistake. He was soon "deprogrammed" and returned to Homer and Marge: "Mom, Dad, I missed you. Cowabunga, dudes!"

He once created a "hit movie", called "Man gets hit by football." The highlight of this film (in fact, the only scene) is reminiscent of the "Funniest Videos" television shows: Hans awaits a passed football, but he misses the catch, the ball hits him in the crotch, he falls to the ground in pain.

Hans has escaped death innumerable times: Burns drills into Hans's head. He drowns in quicksand. Is run off the road. Run over by Homer J. Simpson. Fell out of a window. Dr. Hibbert forgot Hans and left him in a fluoroscope. A scene in one episode has him about to be executed in Springfield Jail. Once he's even buried alive.

Please take me somewhere happy.

My doctor never told me that. I had to hear it from Phish. (upon learning that his body is in terrible shape)

Alcohol has ruined my life... I'm only 31 years old!!!

I think that I shall never see: / My cataracts are blinding me.

16 Hyman Krustofsky

Hyman Krustofsky is the father of Krusty the Klown. He is the rabbi at the local synagogue. Krusty and his father became estranged when Hyman discovered that his son was the entertainment at a dinner he was attending. Hyman very strongly disproved of his son's profession and the disrespect he had for his Jewish heritage. Thanks to the efforts of Bart and Lisa, the pair were reunited and made amends. More recently, Hyman officiated at his son's belated Bar Mitzvah.

17 Jack Larson

Jack Larson is a slick spokesman for Laramie cigarettes and once owned the Springfield Isotopes.

18 Jasper

Jasper is a somewhat senile resident of Springfield Retirement Castle and a good friend of Abraham Simpson.

When called in to help replace teachers (who are on strike), he gets his beard stuck in a mechanical pencil sharpener; while teaching he also confiscated everything in the room made of tin, and two children passed out from the fumes of his ointment; he also threatens everyone with 'a paddlin'; when kids steal the electronics from the TV set in the retirement castle and replace it with a cat, Jasper stares at the cat in the TV box, pressing buttons on the remote and says "Two hundred channels and nothing but cats". After becoming stuck in a freezer, he was briefly showcased as the Kwik-e-mart attraction Frostilicus.

Jasper was also shot in his wooden leg by Waylon Smithers while walking down the sidewalk.

You shot who in the what now? - Jasper

19 Jebediah Springfield

The historical founder of Springfield.

Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield, is the purported historical founder of the town of Springfield. Springfield had many famous quotations, such as "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man", and was well known for his silver tongue (literally; the silver tongue was a prosthesis, his original tongue having been bitten off by a Turk in a barroom brawl).

Springfield led a band of wagons westward along with his partner Shelbyville Manhattan; but they parted ways when Manhattan wanted to found a town where people could marry their cousins, and Springfield wanted a town devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavourless mush he called root-marm. Manhattan went on to found the rival town of Shelbyville.

On an expedition to Springfield's historic "Fort Sensible," Bart Simpson uncovered inconsistencies in the Jebediah legend. Lisa Simpson later proved that "Jebediah Springfield" was a bloodthirsty pirate and enemy of George Washington named Hans Sprungfeld, who had changed his name to hide and who hated the town of Springfield.

Springfield is said to have dramatically killed a bear with his bare hands. A statue of this sits in the center of the Springfield town square, in front of the city hall. Contemporary historians believe the bear in fact probably killed him.

20 Johnny Tightlips

A member of the Mafia and associate of Fat Tony. He says very little, which spares him from accusations of being a "squealer," but his reticence tends to be unhelpful to himself or others.

Fat Tony: Did you have a nice flight Johnny Tightlips?

Johnny: I ain't sayin' nothin'

Fat Tony: I understand. How is your mother?

Johnny: Oh, hey, who says I have a mother?

Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, do you see the shooter?

Johnny: I see a lot of things.

Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.

Louie: Johnny Tightlips, were'd they hit ya?

Johnny: I ain't sayin nothin.

Louie: But, what do I tell the doctor?

Johnny: Tell him to suck a lemon.

21 Luigi Re Soto

Proprietor of the local Italian restaurant. Basically a parody of the "Italian pasta/pizza chef" stereotype. He is possibly an illegal immigrant.

22 Akira

Instructor at a local karate dojo and sushi chef, voiced by Star Trek alumnis George Takei (" Hikaru Sulu"). Helped Homer figure out that "Mr. Sparkle" was the logo of a Japanese lightbulb/fish products corporation. Essentially a parody of the Japanese archetype. He is rumored to be a small tribute Matt Groening inserted for both Akira Kurosawa and the famed anime Akira.

23 Professor John Frink

Brilliant scientist and local Springfield professor.

Professor Frink is Springfield's local mad scientist (voiced by Hank Azaria). His character is a mild parody of Jerry Lewis' character, The Nutty Professor. He has a trademark mannerism of using nonsense words when excited (and he's always excited). For example, when a meteor is approaching Springfield in a Paul Bunyan portray, he exclaims "That meteor is headed straight for us! With the fire, and the impact, and the hundred percent chance of PAIN! PAIN IN THE GLAYVIN!"

In a flashback we see him lecturing at the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, demonstrating the Frinkiac supercomputer and predicting that "within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful, ten thousand times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them. M-huy."

He is fond of flubber (a fictional material with enhanced bounce properties originating in the movie The Absent-minded Professor ). Professor Frink has basketball shoes made of flubber.

"Professor Frink, Professor Frink/He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think!"

He is also the inventor of Hamburger Earmuffs. Using his famous method of combining two already existing inventions, he soon had a hot, marketable product on his hands. However, Homer Simpson attempted to steal this brilliant idea after failing to come up with an invention of his own. Frink was confident though, reassuring himself that "these babies'll already be on the shelves while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix!" He promptly added "hoy-ven-glay-ven!"

Frink never had a good relation with his father, played by Jerry Lewis. His mother said they were like "positrons and anti-neutrinos". The senior Professor Frink was a "he-man" scientist whom, according to his son, worked on the atom bomb by day, slept with Marilyn Monroe by night, and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch. In the 14th Halloween Episode, Frink brought his father back to life, but he went on a rampage and younger Frink was forced to kill the elder.

A programming language/calculating tool has been named in honor of the brilliant Professor Frink.

Professor Frink may have been named after an actual producer of The Simpsons, named John Frink.

24 Reverend Timothy Lovejoy

The local minister

• Helen Lovejoy, his wife
• Jessica Lovejoy, his daughter, a troublemaker who briefly dated Bart (guest-voiced by Meryl Streep).

Timothy Lovejoy (voiced by Harry Shearer) is the Reverend of the Church (of uncertain Protestant denomination, possibly "Presbylutheran") that seemingly every Christian in Springfield attends. His sermons vary between dreary recitations of the more opaque parts of the Old Testament, to the occasional " fire and brimstone" scaremongering about Hell - and very little of the love and joy that the Reverend's surname makes comment on. Bart and Homer, particularly, find it extremely difficult to pay attention during church. An episode points to how he first came to Springfield eager and full of idealism, but has since become cynical and disillusioned about his flock and his ministry, mostly due to Ned Flanders, who constantly pesters the Reverend with "emergencies" ("Reverend Lovejoy? I think I swallowed a toothpick!"), which he dispatches with as much brevity as he can manage ("Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same"), so that he can go back to what seems to be his true passion - his model trains. "I just stopped caring", he explained to Marge. "[But] fortunately, by then it was the eighties, and no one noticed."

The church itself is a clone of the one seen in The Graduate.

Helen Lovejoy is the reverend's judgemental, small minded, moralistic, and gossipy wife. Helen's catchphrase, delivered in times of civic crisis (moral or otherwise), consistently asks, "Will someone please think of the children ?"

25 Herman

The owner of a military antiques store.

Voiced by Harry Shearer. He is the owner of Herman's Military Antiques, and dresses in military fatigues . He only has one arm; the other arm was lost by sticking it out of the window of a moving bus, although the writers had originally intended for him to give a different reason each time he appeared. His voice is similar to that of George H.W. Bush.

He is friends with Abraham Simpson, to whom he sold a Shriner's hat , though he claimed it was from Napoleon. He later negotiated a peace treaty between Bart Simpson and the bully Nelson Muntz. He also tried to sell counterfeit jeans out of the Simpson's garage, but was foiled by Marge Simpson.

Herman possesses a small scale tactical nuclear bomb, designed by the government during the 1950's to be dropped from a B-52 onto Beatniks. He keeps it in a plot of land behind his store, and usually only brings potential buyers to see it on special occasions: when Homer and his friends were buying dozens of guns, Herman assumed they were a bachelor party of some kind, but when Homer told him they were forming a vigilante movement, Herman brought him to see the Bomb. The Bomb has a sign next to it which reads "Do Not Ride The Bomb", a rule which Homer broke (spoofing Dr. Strangelove).

26 Squeaky Voiced Teen

A teenager trapped in a long list of dead-end jobs.

The squeaky-voiced teen has acne and his voice is in the process of breaking. He appeared in the opening sequence of one episode, kissing an attractive blonde girl on the couch.

There are a few different Squeaky voiced teens, invented usually to suit a certain locale. One was seen, for example in England; fittingly, he had a British accent. An Australian version of the Squeaky Voiced Teen was seen at the souvenir store that Lisa, Marge, and Maggie visited when the Simpsons were in Australia due to legal reasons where he suggests Bullfrogs should be called 'shazwazzas'. There is also one Krusty Burger restaurant that is entirly staffed by Squeaky Voiced Teens.

In episode [9F11] Selma's Choice the SVT wore a nametag and was referred to by Bart as "Mitch" when the SVT measured his height for a roller coaster without noticing the candy apple stilts Bart was using. ("You're doing a bang up job Mitch")

27 Rich Texan

Owner of many a sports team or investment opportunity, and owner of a dude ranch. In place of a catchphrase, he is often seen jumping and tossing his hat while shouting, "Yee-haw!" and firing pistols into the air. He is also the owner of the Omni Pave Corporation, which is "sensitive to all our eco-concerns." He is also a member of the Republican Party.

For his habit of shooting bullets into the air, the Texan went to jail for six months since one of his bullets hit a Texas ranger. He seems to be having difficulty adjusting to blanks.

28 Sarcastic Man

A man with a sarcastic outlook on life. He has held numerous jobs in Springfield including Garage owner and various shop clerks. His voice is vaguely reminiscent of Charles Bronson. One episode gives his first name as Rafael.

Comic Book Guy: "I would like to return your quote-unquote 'ultimate' belt."

Sarcastic Man: "I see. Do you have a receipt, quote-unquote 'sir'?"

Comic Book Guy: "No, I do not. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average trekkie has no use for a medium sized belt."

Sarcastic Man: "Ooh, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan, you must be a devil with the ladies!"

Comic Book Guy: {Struggles to find the proper comeback}

Sarcastic Man: "I hate to break it to ya Casanova, but no receipt, no return"

29 "Yes" guy

This character is known for saying yeeeeeeessss?. He has appeared several times working with several jobs: waiter, employee at Costington's, Death Row worker, and ice cream man. There was also a Brazilian version seen, uttering a Portuguese variation of the catchphrase ("Siiiiiiiiiii"). The cause of him talking like he does is because of a stroke ("I had a stroooooke"). He hasn't been given a name, but has been referred to as "that jerk who goes yeeeeesss?" in Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays by Homer. He was inspired by Frank Nelson of the old Jack Benny Show who's trademark greeting in all his characters was a long drawn out "yeeeeesss?". [1]

30 Notes

1. "C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN" is a computing joke referring to a well-known American children's book that helped children develop sentences. It contained the words: "See Spot." "See Spot Run." "Run Spot Run." It also refers to something that could be typed at the command prompt of the Microsoft operating system MS-DOS and is pronounced as "See DOS. See DOS run. Run DOS run.".

Recurring Simpsons, recurring

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