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Which is better, snow or milk?

Better leite than neve.

( Portuguese. Leite is milk, and neve is snow. The phrase with the Portuguese words substituted into it sounds like "better late than never".)

"My name is Jönsson, with two pricks over the first 'o'".

(Prick is Swedish for dot.)

"The plane took of with a great fart and disappeared in the horizon as a prick"

( Norwegian. Fart is how one would spell "speed". Prick is "dot".)

"What a mess you have made!"

( Norwegian. Mess is almost the word for "conference".)

A Spanish speaker who knows no English goes into a clothes store in an English-speaking country and wants a garment but doesn't know how to ask for it. After the manager shows the Spanish speaker every article of clothing in the store, she shows the Spanish speaker a pair of socks, and the Spanish speaker says:

"¡Eso sí que es!" ("That's what it is!") The manager responds:

"If you could spell it all along, why didn't you say so?"

("¡Eso sí que es!" sounds like the English letter sequence "S-O-C-K-S."

According to Sigmund Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Fünf

( German numbers - vier, fünf, sechs = four, five, six.)

An English couple are travelling by train in Scania (southern Sweden). At one stop, two local farm boys board the train and take their seats in the same compartment. One is tall, blond, and striking, while the other one is short and plain. The Englishwoman admires the tall youth for a moment, then remarks to her husband:

"What a handsome face!"

The short boy blushes and answers:

"Näeij, frun, det var jau."

("What a handsome face" sounds like the Swedish phrase "Var det han som fes?", i.e. "Was it he who farted?" -- especially if pronounced with the Scanian dialect of Swedish. The boy's answer means: "No, ma'm, it was I.")

Before the Battle of Normandy, two German spies are infiltrated in the Allied Headqarters. Before they can retire and radio to Berlin, they have to attend the officers's cocktail. On of the two spies goes to the barman and asks, in perfect English :

- "Two whiskies, please."

- "Dry?"

- "Nein, zwei!"

(in German, Drei (three) in pronounced quite like dry)

See also

• Swenglish